I want suffering in this world. I demand it. 

The suffering bestowed upon others serves to justify my own existential angst, offsetting the abysmal self-worth I possess.

In layman's terms, I do not believe that I was put upon this earth to absolve suffering, but rather to foster it.

Versa (Thank You)

A successful response is never going to be one thing done perfectly; it will be a lot of different things done well enough. 

Do not allow imperfection to become conflated with uselessness.