Hey Donna, I'd love to stay and chat, but all of my worst fears have now come true.

You: "My life is like the worst fucking movie I've ever seen."

I knew you in the way that I knew not to speak, but eventually I felt the need to break the silence.

Me: "Maybe the director's turned on us . . . "

I should really go home and wash my face now, it's completely covered in blood.