Monday, May 28, 2018

Leveling With You (Drawing Fire)

If I alone were Kit's full-time caregiver there is no doubt in my mind that she would be dead. It is not fair that so much of your existence revolves around monitoring and augmenting everyday aspects of her survival, like how much water she drinks and food she eats - I do not understand why the desire to feed and hydrate has left her body, and I fear we may never find ourselves privy to the answers.

I have never had the patience to do this all on my own, whereas you have more-or-less maintained the patience of a saint - I do not know where the internal willpower comes from, or how it was forged and under what circumstances, but for the last two-and-a-half years your steadfastness has been an inspiration, as the majority of the caregiving responsibilities have fallen onto you in my absence. When I relocated for employment purposes you stepped up and became the rock of this family, and while I can provide logistical and financial support from afar, the day-to-day operations fall squarely on you, and for that I am sorry.

With all of this said, I am sure that Kit is aware of the burden her life places on this family and hates herself for it, and yet, as frustrated as we may become at times being full-time caregivers...family do not let family die alone.

So the next time you feel the doubt, the anger, the hopelessness begin to creep its way into your thoughts - bring that pain to me and I will draw fire.

The concept of drawing fire: that is when a member of a platoon - for tactical reasons - steps into the open to draw enemy fire. Maybe it is to give another part of the team a chance to move; maybe it is to distract the enemy; maybe it is to help the platoon locate the enemy and neutralize the threat. But that is what I say: draw fire.

Bring that pain to me. In times of weakness I will absorb the impact - and the negativity. I can handle it when others cannot. When bad things are happening I will be the one good thing that can be relied upon. I will bolster those around me and the positive attitude will spread . . . and we will fight. And in fighting, we will win. If not the battle and if not the war - we will win. Because in perseverance there is victory.

And that is the ultimate victory: to hold your head high and - even in the face of inescapable defeat - stand and fight.

Family do not let family die alone. The three of us are in this for the long haul, cradle to grave, until they put us into the ground.

1 comment:

Prichard Nixon said...

Amen, brother.